well, i have walked a long way, and finally its the end of my high school life. there are bitterness and sweetness for each and every step i took. so lets have a flash back , a summary or even a conclusion of my journey.

when i started this blog, my purpose was to find an event to fill the emptiness in me ,a place to hide from my problems and reasons to rationalise running away from my problems. u guys always heard me complaining , regretting because could not embrace myself to face my problems.

when i entered form 6. i said to my self 'face my problems it's now or never' . so i embrace myself although with fear to join the activity they also participate in as AJK . because i wasted all the time we could work together and have fun, running away. so i feel like i am given a second chance to see how it is working and have fun with them. i walked the road not taken( great thanks to Chu Yong andHan Min)

i started talking to the friends that i afraid of my whole life. and the more i talked to them i found they don't think the same the way i think of me ! as a traitor. and started to bond a little( at least there is no wall between us).

wah so relived, never thought it would be so easy....and this time i really felt growing up. because i have overcome my fear...hehehe

daily diary

假期剩下两天了，过后就要上课了，迎接新的学期。

我相信每个人对这个假期定下许多的目标：
1。 要读完多少本书。
2。 要到哪里去玩。
3。 等等。

今天我随同我bio班的朋友到槟城玩。翰闵的最疯狂了，穿着内裤在海滩跑来跑去。
他说要玩只是在这假期，开学就没时间玩了，开学就认真读书，拼了，不再去想玩了。

他这句话让我深思， 我是否好好利用我这假期。有的！！！（我很肯定）
我利用这个假期 to settle things with my past.我很光荣，也很自豪，因为我成功了。
我勇敢面对我一直不敢面对的人群（男警）（rc camp 时）
经过尝试，我成功揭开心结！！！好轻松啊！！！

我缺乏的不是人家的认同，而是认同自己的勇气！
我要勇敢！！！面对一切！！！

Every day diary

Participated the red cross activity made me realise, i am still not strong enough (mentally amd physically).

i will strive to make my self to be stronger so that i could protect help others.

i will face my fear

i will face my fear and put an end to this...

打开绿屋，晒晒阳光!

弟弟从小就皮得很 ，大人的话永远都进不了弟弟的耳朵。不懂事故的弟弟让我们一家大小都为他担心，担心将来他将如何踏入社会独立生活。几个星期弟弟还遇上了车祸， 幸好， 只受了皮外伤，但也足够让我们一家来个破胆之惊。

今天早上， 弟弟要到怡保整理宿舍和准备上学，虽然这到怡保只要一个多钟头的车程，但这还是弟弟第一次需要离开家这么长的时间（五年）。我并没有随他一同去， 因为正在考试，只有父母陪他。

弟弟离开家前，我发现他好像成长了几分， 发出的气息不同了，有成熟的味道。这是我才肯定他已经准备好了。 我给他一个拥抱，叮咛他‘长大了要乖乖啊’！

人人说‘离开家的孩子才会成长’果然不虚！

弟弟加油！！！

my past school life was miserable, at then i thought, am i going to let my school life to end with nothing.'no of course!' So with the feeling of having an uncompleted mission to complete i decide to return to school to pursue form 6 studies.

well a year has passed and time has prove me right. going back to form six give me the time to think about what happened and what i did during the lower forms.

to start with, i ask my self , 'why was i feeling so miserable in all those years'
first i thought it was because i kept quit going for school activities then slowly my friends become lesser and my academic achievements wasn't as good as before. while seeing my friends become more successful, i feel depressed and i even look down on my self. for short before i quit uniform body activities i was somebody but after i quit i was no body.

then i come to realise that i quit the activity because choose to do so and i believe i would make my own stunning achievement, but luck wasn't on my side, i participate many other clubs but i am still no body, slowly i lost my confidence, then i start to think that i had made the wrong choice to quit and then started to grab on the 'little things' the good memories and high achievement, i had before i quit school activities, i was very afraid to think that i have become a no body , instead i recall how good i used to be. and ever since that i had been living in 'i used to be very good'. slowly i give up and forget why i quit.

pursuing form 6 remind me of all this.

now i could stop feeling miserable, i quit activities because i choose to and i believe that i could to better differently.

this time i am going to make my school life a better one and i believe i can make it.

with this attitude ,i believe it will make a very big and beautiful 'full stop' to my smjk jit sin life.!!!!

recently , undergoing self transforming!!!